Greg Adkins

5 Things That Are Up.

What's up?   

1.  Still no real adoption news.   We've passed the 3 month point since we received our referral.   Most families with our agency have been traveling right around the 6 month point which for us would fall sometime around the week of December 18th.   I'd say right now the odds are really good that we'll be traveling sometime between December 1st and February 1st... we're really hoping to be home before Christmas.   The wait is still proving to be very, very challenging.   We are at the point now where we really don't talk about it much at home but it's taking a toll... I think we're all just ready to get our daughter home and get to this next, very exciting part of our lives.   Enough of this waiting already! 

2.  Connor is doing really well in Kindergarten so far.   He's a bright, sweet little boy and the structure of kindergarten is really good for him.   He seems to be learning a lot and he really likes his teacher so all is well on that front.   We're really proud of him.   He has missed this entire week of school due to having the dreaded swine flu.   It really hasn't been that bad and he's been feeling a good bit better since Tuesday but the doctor recommended he stay out all week.   We're going to mostly take that advice... we're sending him back tomorrow (Friday) because they're having a special "Johnny Appleseed" day.   I never really got into Johnny Appleseed that much... I was more of a Paul Bunyan guy... loved that big blue ox.

3.   I've spent most of the past 2 days at home with Connor organizing his gigantic bucket of random lego pieces he got for Christmas into ziploc bags.  The legos are now organized based on size and shape which keeps them a lot neater and makes building new ships a breeze.   Connor and I found a website with every lego Star Wars instruction manual ever... we're looking through them and when we find one we think we have the parts to build, we go to work.  It's been a lot of fun for both of us... we built a mini Millenium Falcon today and I have to say, it's pretty sweet.

4.  I think I'm as un-excited about the new TV season as I've ever been... I just don't watch much TV anymore which I don't say in any way to look down on you if you watch a lot of TV.   If there were a lot of shows that were on that I was excited about, I would probably watch plenty... there just hasn't been much to pique my interest this year.   I'll watch The Office every week... that's still a favorite.   I watched the first few episodes of Glee and kind of liked it... it's REALLY unrealistic and as a musician the non-realistic vocal / performance numbers really bother me.   They will have 6 kids singing on screen when it should be obvious to anyone with ears that you're hearing 20 studio singers coming out of your speakers.   Anyway... I'll watch Lost and 24 when they come on... and Friday Night Lights too but that's about it.   Any shows I should be watching that I'm not?  

5.  I don't know if many of you know this or not but Jessica has gone back to school this semester part time at LMU to get a certificate (I can't remember what it's called) that will certify her to be a principal.   Yes, she already has one more degree than I have (she has a Masters... I just have an undergrad) and now she'll have two!   For Jessica to be working full time at the school, taking classes on the weekend, and still finding time to be an amazing mom and wife, the woman deserves a medal.   I've certainly made the mistake in the past of taking all of that for granted but I've had my eyes opened a bit lately to how impressive and difficult it all really is.   There's no way I could pull all that off unless I figured out a way to get a clone.   I'm really, really proud of her! 

August Update on Claire

Once a month we receive an update from Taiwan on how Claire is doing in her foster home.   We received our first update this week and you can read all about it over on our adoption blog.

Bears for Claire

Jessica and I are going to be having two adoption fund-raisers this fall to help us cover the costs of our travel to Taiwan to bring Claire home.   Airfare could be as high as $10,000 due to the fact that we'll only have about 7 days notice before we travel.   We've been able to cover our expenses up until now but that daunting total has left us needing to get creative and so, we are excited to present... Bears for Claire. 

Here's how it works: Make a donation to our adoption fund and you will receive a "bear for Claire".  For $5.00 you get one bear, for $10.00 you get 3, and for $25 you get 8 bears.   Each bear enters you to win one of over 20 prizes.    We have some AWESOME prizes, including: 

• A Nintendo Wii!   Seriously.. brand new, in the box.  Comes with Wii Sports!
• Free Chick Fil-A for a Year!   Two different people will win this.
• Tennessee Football Tickets (box seats!)
• A Prize Package from the Food Network / HGTV
• A Prize Package from Love 89 Radio
• Regal Cinemas movie passes
• A whole lot more! 

The drawing will be held on Sunday, August 30th at 7:00 PM.   We'll actually be webcasting the drawing so people can watch live.  

For all the information you need to participate in our fundraiser, and to purchase your chances to win the Wii and other prizes, please visit:

www.bearsforclaire.blogspot.com 

Sunday Setlist - August 16th, 2009

"Freedom is Here" - Hillsong United
"I Will Go" - Starfield
"Glory to God" - Steve Fee
"I'm Not Ashamed" - Israel Houghton
"None but Jesus" - Brooke Frasier

Give this a minute... it gets INSANE.

This is Summer?

Since receiving Claire's referral at the beginning of the summer, the time has been flying by.   I'm really glad this all happened in the summertime because we've had so much to do!   We had a busy summer planned anyway and this just kicked it all into hyperdrive.   Here is just a short list of what we've been up to for the past 6 weeks or so: 

• We had a huge garage sale / adoption fundraiser.  We got rid of a TON of stuff and made almost $800 which was a huge blessing.   
• We've sold a lot of things on Craigslist too... a futon, crib, changing table, Connor's old powerwheels, an old pair of studio monitors I had, and some old Thomas trains.
• We've made 2 trips to Nashville to have documents state certified for our adoption.   Every document that goes to Taiwan has to be notarized, then taken to the county clerk's office to be county certified, then driven to Nashville where it is state certified.    From there, we send the documents to our agency in Kansas who then sends them to Atlanta to be TECO certified (TECO is kind of like the Taiwanese embassy) and TECO sends them back to Kansas where they can then finally go to Taiwan.   If that sounds like a headache, trust me... it is! 
• We're preparing for a third trip to Nashville in a couple of weeks to be re-fingerprinted for our Department of Homeland Security clearance.   Yippee.
• We've taken a room in our home that was literally covered floor to ceiling with clothes, boxes, junk, and more junk and cleaned it out entirely.   We're now painting the room pink and soon it will start to look like a little girl's bedroom... we hope.  
• We've bought most of Claire's bedroom furniture... we've been scoping out good deals and that has gone pretty well.   We got a great deal on a bed and mattresses on Craigslist from a girl who told us "I spend the night with my boyfriend like, every night anyway so I don't really need this."   TMI!
• Jessica has been trying to build a wardrobe for Claire (I mean purchase clothes... not physically build a wardrobe like in Narnia) and it's been tricky... we don't know exactly when she will be coming home (fall?  winter?  early spring?) and we also don't really know how big she is so it's all kind of a crapshoot.   Jessica's been getting great deals hitting garage sales and consignment shops and slowly but surely it's coming together.   I think Claire already has more pairs of shoes than Connor and I combined... 

So that's just a little of what we've been up to trying to get ready for our new arrival.   Jessica starts back to work in 2 weeks which is why we've been pushing to get this all ready now.   We'll post some pictures of Claire's room when it's ready.

July 18th, 2009.

As I write this here in East Tennessee at 11:00 in the morning, on the other side of the world the clock has rolled over and a new day has begun in Taiwan.   It is July the 18th and at some point today my daughter Claire will turn two years old.   

I was born on October 30th, 1974 a little after 7:00 in the morning.   I know this because for years my mom would call me early in the morning on my birthday every year and give me the old "do you know what I was doing at this time 27 years ago???" line.   I never knew what to say...   "Um... I give up.  Were you screaming and cussing out dad?"    

Smart alec answers aside, I always appreciated my mom's early morning calls on my birthday... it told me how much she loved me and that not only was the day of my birth worth celebrating but even the moment of my birth was worth remembering.   Sure, it's a small thing but a large collection of small things is how a person comes to know that they are loved.   

I will probably never know the exact moment of Claire's birth.   I'll never know if it was morning, afternoon, or evening... if the sky was sunny or clouded... who witnessed her emergence into this world... what her first moments with her birth mother were like... these things will remain a mystery to me.   Adoption is a wonderful thing with a lot to celebrate but there is plenty to mourn as well.   When our daughter comes home it will be easy to focus on all that we have gained... but let us not forget all we have lost. 

Claire has now lived two years of her life being bounced around between orphanages and a foster home.   As far as she can tell, she has no mother and no father... just caregivers who randomly seem to come and go.  Hopefully they are kind to her.  I wonder if she loves them... I wonder if they love her.   I wonder when she spoke her first word and what it was.   Did anyone even hear?   Did anyone care?   When she took her first steps, did anyone even notice?

I'm thinking of all of the treasured moments of Connor's first two years of life... first words, first laughs, learning to crawl and then walk,  his first time going down a slide, and his first time dipping his toes in the ocean.   I cherish every one of those memories.    I know that a lifetime of memories with Claire are ahead of us as well and I know that there is so much joy to come but that future joy for now is tinged with the sadness of all that we have lost.

Even as I sit here now and think about these things, I have to remember that for as much as I have lost, Claire will have lost even more.   As our plane lifts off from Taiwan to journey over the ocean and back home to Tennessee, our little girl will be saying goodbye to every single thing she has ever known.   Her friends... her caregivers... her bed... her favorite foods... her language... her homeland...  gone.   

I don't know what our first days with our new daughter will be like but I do know that she is going to be grieving all that she has lost.   I don't know how she is going to do this... some adopted children rage and lash out while others simply withdraw and go quiet.    Who could blame them?   I am praying even now that we will be equipped to comfort her... to help her through the transition into her new life.   How will we do this.... the words of comfort she would understand can only be spoken in a language we do not know.    God grant us patience, peace, and wisdom.   

So, today my daughter turns two.   I have no idea what this day will hold for her... I like to imagine that her foster family in Taiwan will have a celebration.   Maybe some of her friends from pre-school will come over and there will be cake and ice cream... perhaps they will sing a song to her and she will end up with icing all over her face.   Maybe she will celebrate... or maybe it will be just another day.   Like so many other things, I will probably never know.   

Here in Tennessee, we celebrated Claire's birthday by having a garage sale.   We've spent the last week emptying closets and drawers... shelves and storage tubs.    I've never seen so much stuff in our garage and hopefully all of it will be sold.   All of the money we make today is going towards buying Claire's bedroom furniture.   Connor is sitting at a table selling brownies and drinks with a sign that says "Snacks for my Sissy".    Claire is heavy on all of our minds today but we're keeping busy... moving forward... wading our way through this wait the only way we know how.   We're a little sad but also incredibly hopeful and excited.    We know that next year we will celebrate this day very differently.   It's going to be an incredible party...  we'll have a lot of lost time to make up for.  I can't wait.   

Stickin' it to the Man!

Okay, this is hilarious!   First, read this story.   Then, after you're done with that, come back and watch the following video.   Classic.  

Adoption Fundraiser - Family Songs Sampler

As you may or may not know, our coming adoption is not going to be free. We know that God will provide for us... we know that 100%. Still, things are extremely tight and I figured this would be a simple little adoption fundraiser we could try.

What you see above is an album of original songs I have put together called "Family Songs Sampler". It's a collection of songs from 3 of my albums, plus a couple of early home demos. Just click on the widget above and you can download this entire collection of songs. Noisetrade (the company I'm using to create the widget) gives you the opportunity to either email 5 friends about the music or to make a paypal donation. Any amount is fine... from $1 to $25 and all points in between.   To be clear, you can either make a donation or email 5 friends to let them know about the music so if you want the music for free, you can do that.   

Anyway, I'm not super comfortable with the whole fundraising idea but if you're so inclined, please download the music and either make a small donation or help us to spread the word.  Thanks.  

Adoption Frequently Asked Questions - Post Referral Edition

So now that we have received our referral and we know that Claire will be coming home soon, I figured I would take this opportunity to answer a few more of our most frequently asked questions.   You can read the original post here.

When will you bring Claire home?     There's really no way to know an exact answer to that question. Best case scenario would be October and the worst case scenario would be more like February or March.

Why does it take so long?   After receiving our referral on June 18th, we had to sign and date about 7 pages worth of adoption contracts.   Those had to be sent to Kansas (where our agency is) and then to Taiwan.   Taiwan then sent us a bunch of documents that we had to sign and have notarized and then state certified (which required a trip to Nashville) and those documents are currently at the TECO office in Atlanta which is basically the Taiwanese embassy.   Once those documents make their way back to Taiwan we will go into the court system.   We'll have an initial hearing where the judge will be presented all of our documents and a social worker acting on our behalf in Taiwan will request permission for us to adopt.   From there it's a 10 day waiting period for birth parents to sign off on everything.  Then, whenever the judge gets around to it you'll either get a ruling or he'll request more information.   I don't know exactly how the system works but it seems like it can either go really quick or really slow... luck of the draw I guess.   Once the judge grants a ruling, they'll make an appointment for us to take Claire to get a Visa and that will be our travel date... it's usually about 3-4 weeks after the final ruling.  

Where is Claire right now?    Claire is in a foster home in Taiwan.   She was in an orphanage until April but at that point she moved to foster care.   We're excited about this as it means she is more than likely receiving more attention and care.  She's even attending preschool! 

How were you matched with Claire?   Was it random?  Did you choose her?  Claire's birth mother decided to place Claire for international adoption in late April and then in mid May, they presented her with several potential families and the birth mother chose us.   She has requested that we send her 20 pictures and a short video every year for 15 years which we think is great.   She will send cards every year on Claire's birthday and at Chinese New Year. 

Will we be able to communicate with Claire while we wait?   Unfortunately, no.   Due to cultural and language barriers, waiting families usually don't communicate with foster families which I can understand.   The good news is that we will be able to send  her care packages if we like... we're working on getting the first one together now and we're hoping to send it out soon so it will get to her around the time of her birthday (she'll be 2 on July 18th).  

What is Claire's name right now?  Hsiang-Ting Hung but everyone calls her Mei-Mei. 

Will she be able to speak English?  We don't know for sure but almost certainly the answer will be no.   Obviously this will be challenging at first but based on everything we've read, she should be able to pick up English at an astonishing rate due to her age. 

Won't she be so excited to come home to her forever family?   I'll post more in depth on this topic later but in short, probably not at first.   Claire has grown up around Taiwanese people (mostly women)... and now she's going to be put in the hands of 2 strangers who don't speak her language, who smell funny to her, who don't know how to make her favorite foods, and who look unusual.   Most likely, she'll spend a few days freaking completely out!   Think about what your child would have done if at 2 and a half years old you sent them to live in Taiwan with strangers... it's going to be an adjustment for sure!   There are lots of tricky things to think of here... attachment issues and things like that and I'll probably post more about it later.   I'm reading some books on it and trying to educate myself and once I feel like I know a little more I'll write a bit about it.  

She's so cute!  I bet you can't wait to get her home!    You're right!  She's adorable and no, we cannot wait to bring her home!   These next few months will be excruciating... we have a lot to do though... a room to paint and a nursery to put together so hopefully those things will keep us busy as we wait.

Love is the Thing

The Kids

Our Little Princess!

We were so fortunate to receive several more recent pictures of our daughter Claire this morning.   I believe these pictures were taken around the time she was 22 months old (she's 23 months old right now).   We already love her so much... with each new picture we receive our hearts melt just a little bit more.   She got her hair cut short and it's so stinking cute!   Check these out! 

How on earth are we going to wait 7 months to bring this little angel home?   Seriously folks... the waiting before was hard... this is going to be almost unbearable.   Knowing our daughter is growing up without us... there's just no way for that not to be gut wrenching.   We're so thankful to have all of these pictures though... many families who adopt internationally only get one or two pictures and we have well over 20 right now, plus some video.    Our adoption agency has been absolutely unbelievably awesome.  

Our First Video of Claire

Claire is the little girl in the burgundy dress with white sleeves.   

On The Day That You Were Born

One of the first thoughts I had when we received Claire's referral was to wonder what I was doing with myself on the day that she was born.    Thanks to the facts that I hardly ever delete old email and I also keep a fairly detailed calendar, I think I can put together almost my entire day.

July 18th, 2007

I woke up in Asheville, NC on a futon in Chris Rosser's studio.   It was day 3 of the recording of "Chase the Western Sky", an album I recorded that summer and we had worked late the day before.   Rather than drive back to Knoxville only to turn around and drive back to Asheville the next day, Chris offered to let me stay in the studio that night.   I think I drove to a movie theater that night to watch the fifth Harry Potter movie.   Anyway, on the morning of the 18th,  I slept until around 9:00, sent a few emails, grabbed a quick shower, and we began recording around 10:00 that morning.   Before lunch we recorded the acoustic guitar parts for the songs "Old Radio", "The End of You and Me", and "Old Shoes".   

On our way out to lunch that day we stopped at a little music shop in Asheville to purchase a set of 12-string acoustic guitar strings that I needed for a guitar part we were going to record after lunch.   I think we ate at a Jersey Mike's sub shop.

After lunch (and this is the cool part), I restrung my guitar and we recorded the acoustic guitar part and scratch vocals (kind of like a rough draft) for this song: 

Because my first record and now this new record had several songs about Connor, I wanted to have a song for this record that would be for Claire.   I took a stab at writing some but nothing ever came of it at that point... we had just decided for sure to adopt and the feelings and emotions were a little too new for me to write about at that time.   I had always loved this Julie Miller song and had thought a lot about including one cover song on the record so I decided this would be the perfect song, especially since this record had a more folksy and acoustic sound.  

Here are the lyrics:  

You've been taken by the wind

You have known the kiss of sorrow

Doors that would not let you in

Outcast and a stranger

You have come by way of sorrow

You have come by way of tears

But you'll reach your destiny

Meant to find you all these years

Meant to find you all these years

You have drunk a bitter wine

With none to be your comfort

You who once were left behind

Will be welcomed at love's table

You have come by way of sorrow

You have taken a long way home

But the love that led to you

You will someday come to know

You will one day come to know

All the nights that joy has slept

Will awake to days of laughter

Gone the tears that you have wept

You'll dance in freedom ever after

You have come by way of sorrow

You've come over a stony ground

But when love calls out your name

You will lay your burden down

You will lay your burden down

After we recorded this song, we put down a couple more acoustic guitar parts and that was it for the day.   I loaded up the car and drove back home to Knoxville.   I know it isn't anything earth shaking but I really love that this is what I was working on the day my daughter was born on the other side of the world.