Greg Adkins

We're in Taiwan!

Hi everyone,

We have just arrived here in Taipei, Taiwan and we will be here for the next 2 weeks as we finalize the adoption of our daughter, Claire.   We'll be blogging regularly while we're here but not on this site.   To follow along with our journey, visit:

Our Journey to Claire

Fears

We are leaving for Taiwan in 6 days.   Over two years of waiting and now here we are, about to board a plane that will take us halfway around the world and deliver us into the arms of a new life.  

I was thinking the other night about how it will feel to leave our house that morning.   I can still remember leaving the morning Connor was born knowing that when we came back home a few days later, everything was going to be different.   The life that Jessica and I had known was gone and a new one was beginning.   It was a great feeling but if I'm being totally honest, it was also pretty scary.   Life was controllable and predictable... introducing a baby into the equation brought in the potential for chaos.   We had no idea what to expect.   Luckily for us, it was wonderful.   Connor has always been an amazing kid.

That was six years ago and this time around, all of those feelings of fear are amplified.   Life again is somewhat controllable and predictable.   I love my family and the life that we share.   If I thought bringing a baby into the mix would be tricky, how about a 2 year old who doesn't speak English!   Don't get me wrong, we are so, so excited to bring our little girl home but there are certainly moments where we both lie awake in bed at night thinking "what on Earth have we gotten ourselves into?"   

A random sampling of fears that cross our mind on a daily basis:

What if she won't attach to us?    What if she screams non-stop the whole time we're in Taiwan?   What if they kick us off the plane?    What if Connor and Claire don't get along?   What if there are health problems we don't know about?   What if something goes wrong when we get there and they won't let us bring her home?   What if she grows up to resent us?   What if we aren't up to the challenges that await us?   What if this was all a bad idea?  

You get the picture... there are so many unknowns and I'm sure any other adoptive parent would tell you that this is the part where you start to freak out a little bit.  

Still, even with the fears bouncing around in my head, I have to say that the most consistent feeling I have as I think about this upcoming journey is that of peace.   I don't know exactly what's going to happen, but I know it's going to be okay.   We're not sure what awaits us when we get there, but I know it's going to be okay.   We aren't even sure when we're going to be able to come home (paperwork issues may delay us 2-3 weeks longer than we originally planned) but even with that, I know it's going to be okay.   

"  Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."  -   Isaiah 41:1

What do I say?

We found out today that while we are in Taiwan we are going to meet Claire's maternal grandfather.   Her birth mother does not wish to meet us and has had some fairly serious legal problems.   In fact, as of right now the social workers do not even know where she is.   I was very surprised in light of that to find out that the grandfather has requested to meet with us and that meeting will happen in our hotel on Saturday, February 6th. 

Claire has two half sisters and this man has custody of one of them.   We do not know if he will bring her with him to the meeting but we are hopeful.  

I've been thinking today of what it is we should say to this man to set his mind at ease.   I imagine he wants to meet us to have a chance to say goodbye to his grand-daughter who he will most likely never see again.   What a moment that will be... I cannot imagine.   I feel the need to have some idea of what I want to say to him before we meet... something that will put his mind at ease... something that will give him comfort that little Hsiang-Ting (Claire) is going to be alright in her new life.   Something to let him know that we are kind and loving and that we are going to do everything in our power to give this little girl a wonderful life.   I hope he will believe us and go away from our meeting with at least a little bit of peace.  

We know next to nothing about this man.   We know that Claire's birth mother asked him to take Claire and he told her he could not afford to take one more child.   Putting Claire up for international adoption was his idea and Claire's birth mother agreed to it.   We owe this man an incredible debt of gratitude.   He probably does not speak English and even though I can say "Thank You" in Mandarin (thanks to Ni Hao Kai-Lan) somehow I know that won't even begin to be enough.  

Even though I will probably be anxious about this meeting right up until the moment it happens, I am so grateful we are going to have this opportunity. 

I think of Connor's early life...  In my iPhoto library on my laptop I have over 3000 pictures from just his first 3 years alone.   We have pictures of Connor with all of his family, including some who have since passed away.   Every picture is a treasure.   Those of you with children understand this.   With Claire though, it's different.   We have 20 pictures from a day in October when a social worker took her to a playground.   We have about 10 pictures from a day in April where she played in a park for a little while.   We have about 20 pictures taken at random times during her 2nd year of life while she was living in the orphanage... and that's it.   No pictures of her birth mother, grandparents, siblings, or friends.   Not one.   This might be our only chance to have a picture of her with her birth family.    What a treasure that will be for her someday. 

The Bad Guy

 
We leave for Taiwan in 1 month to bring our daughter home.   I've been preparing our extended family for awhile now and I suppose I should go ahead and prepare any of you who read this who might be around Claire in the first few months she is home.   I don't like being the bad guy but I'm afraid it's a skill I am going to have to develop.   Let me explain.

Because we are adopting an older child (Claire will be 2 and a half on January 18th) the major obstacle we have to overcome is attachment.   Claire has to learn that Jessica and I are her mommy and daddy.   In her short life, she has lived in two different orphanages and also in a foster home.   That means that she has been separated from caregivers who she might have identified as her mommy or daddy at least twice with a third time coming in just a few weeks.   The natural thing for a child to do in this case is to just stop trying... to shut down.   It would not be uncommon for her to come home with us and reject one or both of us (this is in fact very common) so Jessica and I are going to have our work cut out for us.

The good news is that we aren't the first people to walk down this road.   There are a lot of good resources on how to deal with this and how to build attachment between ourselves and Claire.   It isn't easy and it isn't quick and unfortunately, it's going to require me to be a bit of a hard case for awhile.

The number one rule of attachment for a toddler is that Jessica and I are the ONLY ones who are allowed to meet any of Claire's needs.   This means that no one else can feed her, help her get dressed, bathe her, comfort her, and yes, even hold her.   I know... not cool.   I don't like it either but if this is what the experts say, this is most likely what we will do.   Claire absolutely MUST learn that we are her parents... that we are the ones who love her and who will care for her and who will meet every need she has.   After she learns this (it can take from 2-3 months all the way up to a  year) we will lighten up on the rules but at first, I'm going to have to be the attachment nazi for lack of a better term.  

So, if you see us with Claire a few weeks after we get home and we're out at the grocery store or something and you ask to hold her, please don't get offended when I say no.   I don't think you have cooties or anything... we just have to do what is best for Claire in these first few months that we have her.   We have so much lost time to make up for and from everything we've read, who she becomes as a woman later in life is going to depend a whole lot on if she can attach to us as a child.   It's a really big deal.  

That said, every single child is different... she might get home and attach very, very quickly.   I've read stories of that happening but on the flip side, I've read stories of children that didn't attach for years and years and sometimes not at all.   Most likely we'll fall somewhere between those two extremes.   Either way, we absolutely could use your prayers as we prepare for this new journey... there's so much to learn, read, and do and no matter how prepared we think we are, I'm sure there will be many surprises.   If there's one thing I've learned on this crazy train called international adoption it's that nothing ever goes quite the way you think it will and you should always expect the unexpected.   

We Got the Call!

After six months and 13 days of waiting we finally received the call that we've been waiting for this afternoon.   We can travel to Taiwan and pick up our daughter the week of February 8th!   We will most likely leave from Knoxville on Wednesday, February 3rd and we will finally hold our daughter in our arms for the first time on Monday morning, February 8th.   We're hoping to be home the following weekend sometime.

We are absolutely overjoyed!  It's been more than 2 years since we began this journey and now it's finally coming to an end.   I'll be honest... I'm ready for this journey to be over so a new one can begin!   The best is most certainly yet to come.

We'll have more updates later but for now we have a to-do list a mile long... so much to do before we leave!   Plane tickets to buy, hotel rooms to book, a very pink room to put the finishing touches on, and a whole bunch of paperwork to get in order!  

Your phone call is important to us...

My life feels like it has been on hold for six months now.   On June 18th, I saw pictures of my daughter for the first time.   On June 19th, I saw a one minute video of my daughter running around in an orphanage playing with a water bottle.    On July 18th, a giant stack of paperwork arrived in Taiwan... these papers were her ticket home... all that we needed to begin the court process to bring our little girl home to Tennessee.   They enthusiastically said "We'll have her home by Christmas!".  

"your phone call is important to us.  we are currently experiencing heavy call volume.   your estimated time to bring your daughter home is 9 months.   thank you for holding."  

I don't know a better way to describe it... it feels like I've been on hold with a credit card company since June... the phone is at my ear and this message just keeps repeating and repeating and repeating.  I can do things while I wait.. heck, sometimes for a moment or two I even forget that I'm on hold, but like clockwork, every few minutes that voice comes back on to remind me that life is indeed on hold. 

This has been without question the hardest six months of my life.   I wake up every day and wonder about a thousand different things.   Life here has been good, Jessica and Connor are wonderful and we've had some great times as a family only we haven't... our family is incomplete.   Ever since that moment we saw her face for the first time everything we have done as a family has felt just a little bit off.   We are incomplete.  

We have tried everything we know to do to help us get through the wait... you try to put it out of your head for awhile and just pretend it isn't happening.  You tell yourself that will make the time pass more quickly.   It doesn't work though... we both work around tons of people every day.   I can't go 20 minutes without being asked about it some days.   I don't mind being asked... I really don't.   I know everyone means well, genuinely cares, and really hopes and prays we'll have our little girl home soon.   It's just hard to have the scab ripped off the wound 10 times a day sometimes when all you want to do is just survive another day, think about it as little as possible, and hope that the time passes quickly.  

They told us home by Christmas... then our court date was delayed (it should have been in early September... it was October 26th) and they told us mid to late February.   We're hanging our hats on that for now... if we don't get a phone call in the next couple of weeks though, even that isn't going to happen and we could be looking at March or April.   Nothing would surprise me at this point.  

So all of this to say... I'm sorry I haven't been updating my blog lately.   I just haven't really felt like writing anything substantial... it's just another thing that it's hard to give your full attention to when you're on hold.  

As soon as we get the phone call we've been waiting 6 months for... the "come and get your daughter" call, I would imagine I'll have plenty to write about.   For now though, you have my apologies.   Please keep my family in your prayers... as much as this has taken a toll on me, you can only imagine what a toll it has taken on Jessica.  

5 Things That Are Up.

What's up?   

1.  Still no real adoption news.   We've passed the 3 month point since we received our referral.   Most families with our agency have been traveling right around the 6 month point which for us would fall sometime around the week of December 18th.   I'd say right now the odds are really good that we'll be traveling sometime between December 1st and February 1st... we're really hoping to be home before Christmas.   The wait is still proving to be very, very challenging.   We are at the point now where we really don't talk about it much at home but it's taking a toll... I think we're all just ready to get our daughter home and get to this next, very exciting part of our lives.   Enough of this waiting already! 

2.  Connor is doing really well in Kindergarten so far.   He's a bright, sweet little boy and the structure of kindergarten is really good for him.   He seems to be learning a lot and he really likes his teacher so all is well on that front.   We're really proud of him.   He has missed this entire week of school due to having the dreaded swine flu.   It really hasn't been that bad and he's been feeling a good bit better since Tuesday but the doctor recommended he stay out all week.   We're going to mostly take that advice... we're sending him back tomorrow (Friday) because they're having a special "Johnny Appleseed" day.   I never really got into Johnny Appleseed that much... I was more of a Paul Bunyan guy... loved that big blue ox.

3.   I've spent most of the past 2 days at home with Connor organizing his gigantic bucket of random lego pieces he got for Christmas into ziploc bags.  The legos are now organized based on size and shape which keeps them a lot neater and makes building new ships a breeze.   Connor and I found a website with every lego Star Wars instruction manual ever... we're looking through them and when we find one we think we have the parts to build, we go to work.  It's been a lot of fun for both of us... we built a mini Millenium Falcon today and I have to say, it's pretty sweet.

4.  I think I'm as un-excited about the new TV season as I've ever been... I just don't watch much TV anymore which I don't say in any way to look down on you if you watch a lot of TV.   If there were a lot of shows that were on that I was excited about, I would probably watch plenty... there just hasn't been much to pique my interest this year.   I'll watch The Office every week... that's still a favorite.   I watched the first few episodes of Glee and kind of liked it... it's REALLY unrealistic and as a musician the non-realistic vocal / performance numbers really bother me.   They will have 6 kids singing on screen when it should be obvious to anyone with ears that you're hearing 20 studio singers coming out of your speakers.   Anyway... I'll watch Lost and 24 when they come on... and Friday Night Lights too but that's about it.   Any shows I should be watching that I'm not?  

5.  I don't know if many of you know this or not but Jessica has gone back to school this semester part time at LMU to get a certificate (I can't remember what it's called) that will certify her to be a principal.   Yes, she already has one more degree than I have (she has a Masters... I just have an undergrad) and now she'll have two!   For Jessica to be working full time at the school, taking classes on the weekend, and still finding time to be an amazing mom and wife, the woman deserves a medal.   I've certainly made the mistake in the past of taking all of that for granted but I've had my eyes opened a bit lately to how impressive and difficult it all really is.   There's no way I could pull all that off unless I figured out a way to get a clone.   I'm really, really proud of her! 

Bears for Claire

Jessica and I are going to be having two adoption fund-raisers this fall to help us cover the costs of our travel to Taiwan to bring Claire home.   Airfare could be as high as $10,000 due to the fact that we'll only have about 7 days notice before we travel.   We've been able to cover our expenses up until now but that daunting total has left us needing to get creative and so, we are excited to present... Bears for Claire. 

Here's how it works: Make a donation to our adoption fund and you will receive a "bear for Claire".  For $5.00 you get one bear, for $10.00 you get 3, and for $25 you get 8 bears.   Each bear enters you to win one of over 20 prizes.    We have some AWESOME prizes, including: 

• A Nintendo Wii!   Seriously.. brand new, in the box.  Comes with Wii Sports!
• Free Chick Fil-A for a Year!   Two different people will win this.
• Tennessee Football Tickets (box seats!)
• A Prize Package from the Food Network / HGTV
• A Prize Package from Love 89 Radio
• Regal Cinemas movie passes
• A whole lot more! 

The drawing will be held on Sunday, August 30th at 7:00 PM.   We'll actually be webcasting the drawing so people can watch live.  

For all the information you need to participate in our fundraiser, and to purchase your chances to win the Wii and other prizes, please visit:

www.bearsforclaire.blogspot.com 

This is Summer?

Since receiving Claire's referral at the beginning of the summer, the time has been flying by.   I'm really glad this all happened in the summertime because we've had so much to do!   We had a busy summer planned anyway and this just kicked it all into hyperdrive.   Here is just a short list of what we've been up to for the past 6 weeks or so: 

• We had a huge garage sale / adoption fundraiser.  We got rid of a TON of stuff and made almost $800 which was a huge blessing.   
• We've sold a lot of things on Craigslist too... a futon, crib, changing table, Connor's old powerwheels, an old pair of studio monitors I had, and some old Thomas trains.
• We've made 2 trips to Nashville to have documents state certified for our adoption.   Every document that goes to Taiwan has to be notarized, then taken to the county clerk's office to be county certified, then driven to Nashville where it is state certified.    From there, we send the documents to our agency in Kansas who then sends them to Atlanta to be TECO certified (TECO is kind of like the Taiwanese embassy) and TECO sends them back to Kansas where they can then finally go to Taiwan.   If that sounds like a headache, trust me... it is! 
• We're preparing for a third trip to Nashville in a couple of weeks to be re-fingerprinted for our Department of Homeland Security clearance.   Yippee.
• We've taken a room in our home that was literally covered floor to ceiling with clothes, boxes, junk, and more junk and cleaned it out entirely.   We're now painting the room pink and soon it will start to look like a little girl's bedroom... we hope.  
• We've bought most of Claire's bedroom furniture... we've been scoping out good deals and that has gone pretty well.   We got a great deal on a bed and mattresses on Craigslist from a girl who told us "I spend the night with my boyfriend like, every night anyway so I don't really need this."   TMI!
• Jessica has been trying to build a wardrobe for Claire (I mean purchase clothes... not physically build a wardrobe like in Narnia) and it's been tricky... we don't know exactly when she will be coming home (fall?  winter?  early spring?) and we also don't really know how big she is so it's all kind of a crapshoot.   Jessica's been getting great deals hitting garage sales and consignment shops and slowly but surely it's coming together.   I think Claire already has more pairs of shoes than Connor and I combined... 

So that's just a little of what we've been up to trying to get ready for our new arrival.   Jessica starts back to work in 2 weeks which is why we've been pushing to get this all ready now.   We'll post some pictures of Claire's room when it's ready.

July 18th, 2009.

As I write this here in East Tennessee at 11:00 in the morning, on the other side of the world the clock has rolled over and a new day has begun in Taiwan.   It is July the 18th and at some point today my daughter Claire will turn two years old.   

I was born on October 30th, 1974 a little after 7:00 in the morning.   I know this because for years my mom would call me early in the morning on my birthday every year and give me the old "do you know what I was doing at this time 27 years ago???" line.   I never knew what to say...   "Um... I give up.  Were you screaming and cussing out dad?"    

Smart alec answers aside, I always appreciated my mom's early morning calls on my birthday... it told me how much she loved me and that not only was the day of my birth worth celebrating but even the moment of my birth was worth remembering.   Sure, it's a small thing but a large collection of small things is how a person comes to know that they are loved.   

I will probably never know the exact moment of Claire's birth.   I'll never know if it was morning, afternoon, or evening... if the sky was sunny or clouded... who witnessed her emergence into this world... what her first moments with her birth mother were like... these things will remain a mystery to me.   Adoption is a wonderful thing with a lot to celebrate but there is plenty to mourn as well.   When our daughter comes home it will be easy to focus on all that we have gained... but let us not forget all we have lost. 

Claire has now lived two years of her life being bounced around between orphanages and a foster home.   As far as she can tell, she has no mother and no father... just caregivers who randomly seem to come and go.  Hopefully they are kind to her.  I wonder if she loves them... I wonder if they love her.   I wonder when she spoke her first word and what it was.   Did anyone even hear?   Did anyone care?   When she took her first steps, did anyone even notice?

I'm thinking of all of the treasured moments of Connor's first two years of life... first words, first laughs, learning to crawl and then walk,  his first time going down a slide, and his first time dipping his toes in the ocean.   I cherish every one of those memories.    I know that a lifetime of memories with Claire are ahead of us as well and I know that there is so much joy to come but that future joy for now is tinged with the sadness of all that we have lost.

Even as I sit here now and think about these things, I have to remember that for as much as I have lost, Claire will have lost even more.   As our plane lifts off from Taiwan to journey over the ocean and back home to Tennessee, our little girl will be saying goodbye to every single thing she has ever known.   Her friends... her caregivers... her bed... her favorite foods... her language... her homeland...  gone.   

I don't know what our first days with our new daughter will be like but I do know that she is going to be grieving all that she has lost.   I don't know how she is going to do this... some adopted children rage and lash out while others simply withdraw and go quiet.    Who could blame them?   I am praying even now that we will be equipped to comfort her... to help her through the transition into her new life.   How will we do this.... the words of comfort she would understand can only be spoken in a language we do not know.    God grant us patience, peace, and wisdom.   

So, today my daughter turns two.   I have no idea what this day will hold for her... I like to imagine that her foster family in Taiwan will have a celebration.   Maybe some of her friends from pre-school will come over and there will be cake and ice cream... perhaps they will sing a song to her and she will end up with icing all over her face.   Maybe she will celebrate... or maybe it will be just another day.   Like so many other things, I will probably never know.   

Here in Tennessee, we celebrated Claire's birthday by having a garage sale.   We've spent the last week emptying closets and drawers... shelves and storage tubs.    I've never seen so much stuff in our garage and hopefully all of it will be sold.   All of the money we make today is going towards buying Claire's bedroom furniture.   Connor is sitting at a table selling brownies and drinks with a sign that says "Snacks for my Sissy".    Claire is heavy on all of our minds today but we're keeping busy... moving forward... wading our way through this wait the only way we know how.   We're a little sad but also incredibly hopeful and excited.    We know that next year we will celebrate this day very differently.   It's going to be an incredible party...  we'll have a lot of lost time to make up for.  I can't wait.   

Adoption Fundraiser - Family Songs Sampler

As you may or may not know, our coming adoption is not going to be free. We know that God will provide for us... we know that 100%. Still, things are extremely tight and I figured this would be a simple little adoption fundraiser we could try.

What you see above is an album of original songs I have put together called "Family Songs Sampler". It's a collection of songs from 3 of my albums, plus a couple of early home demos. Just click on the widget above and you can download this entire collection of songs. Noisetrade (the company I'm using to create the widget) gives you the opportunity to either email 5 friends about the music or to make a paypal donation. Any amount is fine... from $1 to $25 and all points in between.   To be clear, you can either make a donation or email 5 friends to let them know about the music so if you want the music for free, you can do that.   

Anyway, I'm not super comfortable with the whole fundraising idea but if you're so inclined, please download the music and either make a small donation or help us to spread the word.  Thanks.  

The Kids

Our Little Princess!

We were so fortunate to receive several more recent pictures of our daughter Claire this morning.   I believe these pictures were taken around the time she was 22 months old (she's 23 months old right now).   We already love her so much... with each new picture we receive our hearts melt just a little bit more.   She got her hair cut short and it's so stinking cute!   Check these out! 

How on earth are we going to wait 7 months to bring this little angel home?   Seriously folks... the waiting before was hard... this is going to be almost unbearable.   Knowing our daughter is growing up without us... there's just no way for that not to be gut wrenching.   We're so thankful to have all of these pictures though... many families who adopt internationally only get one or two pictures and we have well over 20 right now, plus some video.    Our adoption agency has been absolutely unbelievably awesome.  

Our First Video of Claire

Claire is the little girl in the burgundy dress with white sleeves.   

On The Day That You Were Born

One of the first thoughts I had when we received Claire's referral was to wonder what I was doing with myself on the day that she was born.    Thanks to the facts that I hardly ever delete old email and I also keep a fairly detailed calendar, I think I can put together almost my entire day.

July 18th, 2007

I woke up in Asheville, NC on a futon in Chris Rosser's studio.   It was day 3 of the recording of "Chase the Western Sky", an album I recorded that summer and we had worked late the day before.   Rather than drive back to Knoxville only to turn around and drive back to Asheville the next day, Chris offered to let me stay in the studio that night.   I think I drove to a movie theater that night to watch the fifth Harry Potter movie.   Anyway, on the morning of the 18th,  I slept until around 9:00, sent a few emails, grabbed a quick shower, and we began recording around 10:00 that morning.   Before lunch we recorded the acoustic guitar parts for the songs "Old Radio", "The End of You and Me", and "Old Shoes".   

On our way out to lunch that day we stopped at a little music shop in Asheville to purchase a set of 12-string acoustic guitar strings that I needed for a guitar part we were going to record after lunch.   I think we ate at a Jersey Mike's sub shop.

After lunch (and this is the cool part), I restrung my guitar and we recorded the acoustic guitar part and scratch vocals (kind of like a rough draft) for this song: 

Because my first record and now this new record had several songs about Connor, I wanted to have a song for this record that would be for Claire.   I took a stab at writing some but nothing ever came of it at that point... we had just decided for sure to adopt and the feelings and emotions were a little too new for me to write about at that time.   I had always loved this Julie Miller song and had thought a lot about including one cover song on the record so I decided this would be the perfect song, especially since this record had a more folksy and acoustic sound.  

Here are the lyrics:  

You've been taken by the wind

You have known the kiss of sorrow

Doors that would not let you in

Outcast and a stranger

You have come by way of sorrow

You have come by way of tears

But you'll reach your destiny

Meant to find you all these years

Meant to find you all these years

You have drunk a bitter wine

With none to be your comfort

You who once were left behind

Will be welcomed at love's table

You have come by way of sorrow

You have taken a long way home

But the love that led to you

You will someday come to know

You will one day come to know

All the nights that joy has slept

Will awake to days of laughter

Gone the tears that you have wept

You'll dance in freedom ever after

You have come by way of sorrow

You've come over a stony ground

But when love calls out your name

You will lay your burden down

You will lay your burden down

After we recorded this song, we put down a couple more acoustic guitar parts and that was it for the day.   I loaded up the car and drove back home to Knoxville.   I know it isn't anything earth shaking but I really love that this is what I was working on the day my daughter was born on the other side of the world. 

REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jessica and I are so excited to introduce to the world Claire Elizabeth Adkins.  She was born on July 18th, 2007 in Taiwan and hopefully will be coming home to us around Christmas time (maybe sooner, maybe a bit later). 

We received our referral Thursday morning totally out of the blue.  Our daughter's name is Hsiang-Ting Chung but everyone calls her Mei-Mei.   We were expecting an infant but God had other plans and we couldn't be more thrilled... we never wanted our children to be 6 years apart and now they won't be... Connor and Claire are almost exactly 3 and a half years apart in age.   Perfect.  

We were NOT expecting a referral this soon... we had been told the wait would be 18-24 months and we were aware of several families who had waited 30 months plus so we had kind of accepted the idea that we would be waiting 2 years at least.   As it turns out, we waited 14 months and 1 week.   Praise God! 

I'll tell the whole story of her referral and a little bit more about her later when I can collect my thoughts better than I can right now... we're still freaking out a bit right now.    Needless to say when we saw her pictures we instantly fell in love and we just cannot wait to bring her home!   More to come! 

Final Taiwan Update coming...

We've been back for almost a week now from our trip to Taiwan and I realize I haven't really posted any of my final thoughts or any pictures from the last day.   Pretty much as soon as I got back I was slammed with a long list of things to do so that got put on the backburner.   I hope to get to it as soon as possible.  

Our last full day included a visit to a really interesting restaurant called the Modern Toilet... you'll want to see those pictures for sure.

Bear with me for another couple of days and I'll get that going.  

Last Blog from Taiwan

Jessica here writing...

It's amazing what a difference a week makes. Tonight as we walked back to the hotel, I felt like I could stay here even longer. A week ago, when I walked the same street, I was absolutely terrified! The first time I stepped on the busy streets of Taipei on Tuesday, I wanted to run home! It was so scary, and the culture shock was overwhelming. I was wondering how in the world to communicate, what in the world I was going to eat, and honestly wanted to catch the first flight back to the U.S. While I still haven't gotten used to everyone staring at me, every other part of Taiwan has grown on us both. This is an amazing city with wonderful and kind people who have been so good to us. It is a place that Greg and I look very much forward to visiting frequently in the coming years. It's amazing that in such a big city, we've always felt extremely safe. To end our time here, I wanted to share a few more random things that we've noticed during our time here.

I saw rice for the first time tonight. Most people here eat noodles. You can't walk into a Chinese restaurant in the U.S. without getting rice, so I found this fascinating. We still didn't see an egg roll! The food here is incredibly cheap! Once we were comfortable enough after a couple of days to actually go into restaurants and try to order, we ate some really great food. We soon learned that most people do speak a little English and like Jodie, our cooking instructor told us, "If you want to spend money to eat, they'll find a way to handle you!" The one thing that has cracked us up is that you have to ask for a check, they won't bring it to you. There is absolutely no rush placed upon you here, and while it is a huge, busy city, at the same time people here are very relaxed and easy going. While everything is cheaper here, Starbucks is still the same price, and just like in the U.S., they are on every corner! Another interesting food fact, in U.S. the McDonald's have hot apple pies, here they are hot pineapple pies and they are quite delicious! There is also very rarely ice served in drinks. There are a ton of food options here, and you cannot even walk down a street without seeing several restaurants and many food vendors. Sometimes, some of the sights and especially the smells have gotten to me.

There are many, many people who live here in the city of Taipei! The people are not at all what I expected. They love to "bop around" and shop and eat, and even at 9 p.m. on a Sunday night, the streets and subways are packed. They all have little dogs that they dress up in outfits. They wear a lot of American clothing, and sometimes clothing with hilarious English translations. The children are extremely well-behaved, never loud or causing a scene. The people are also quiet and calm and things are very peaceful, despite the fact that it's a large city.

There's probably more to say, but I'll let Greg finish it out. Overall, we really have loved this country, and though we are so eager to get home to see Connor, we are excited about returning, and seeing even more of the country. Hopefully on the next visit, we'll be able to bring a new member of the Adkins family home with us. As we were leaving the orphanage yesterday, Sister Rosa said to us, "I don't know how to say it in English, but in Chinese it means, more than destiny, more than fate." I think Greg and I both know in our hearts that it means whatever plan is laid for us by our God, who we will continue to be faithful to, despite how hard the wait is, and despite how much we want to control things. He is in control, and He knows our Claire.

Please pray for safe travel as we travel home tomorrow. Thanks for following us on this adventure.

Taiwan Journal #8 - Jetlag Makes Blogging Hard!

Hey everyone, 

Sorry we haven't done a better job of documenting everything that's going on over here... this jetlag business has been a little tougher than we both thought it would.  When we get back to the hotel every night, we are usually just exhausted and it's been all we can do to stay awake.   Everytime I sit down to write something I end up dozing off!  

We've been having a great time though... I'll try to hit a couple of highlights of what we've been up to the past few days.   

On Thursday (New Year's Day) we signed up for a bus tour of the Northern Taiwan coast.   On the brochure it had pictures of busloads of tourists so we figured a bus would come to get us and we would do this tour with about 30 - 40 other people.   Instead when 1:30 came and it was time for our tour bus to pick us up a man came into the hotel lobby and introduced himself as Chong and led us to the backseat of a minivan.  Turns out we were the only ones who signed up for this tour so it was just us!   

We were a little nervous at first... I mean, how good can the tour be if no one wants to take it but Chong put our fears to rest very quickly.   He spoke very good English and pretty much as soon as we drove away from the hotel he began sharing interesting things about Taiwan with us.   He had a great sense of humor and he finally explained why everyone here drives scooters.   I asked if he drove a scooter and he said he did... he said "you drive car, city controls you... you drive scooter, you control city."   From what we've seen that is most certainly true!  

The drive out of Taipei to the northern coast took about an hour and I'll have to say, the coastline here was really amazing.   The landscape reminded me a lot of the Highway 101 / Big Sur area in California but the water here was much more violent... the waves were the biggest we've ever seen.   

High up on the mountain overlooking the coast was the town of Jioufen which is an old gold mining town that is now famous for its teahouses overlooking the water.   Our tour driver said he had never seen it as crowded as it was... New Year's Day is a national holiday here and it seems like the whole island had gone to the coast.   We spent about an hour walking through the packed streets before heading back to Taipei... it was really cool.   We'll probably do a whole separate post about the markets / shopping here in Taiwan.

We were craving some American type food when we got back from our tour so we headed down to the Taipei 101 area where we found a German / American bar type place... it felt like a fairly typical American brewery style restaurant and best of all, they had an english menu available.   It was pretty exciting to find a chicken artichoke pizza and southwestern eggrolls so far from home!   

We walked around a little downtown after dinner and we explored the Eslite bookstore which is like their version of Borders but it's seriously like Borders on crack.   It was 7 stories tall and every floor had like 5 or 6 other stores as well... it was kind of like a bookstore surrounded on all sides by a mall.   They even had a place where they offered music lessons and we saw a fairly young boy receiving painting lessons.  This place was seriously huge and really nice.   I would have bought a book but there were all in Chinese!   

We were pretty tired after this (and it was only like 9:00) so we headed back to the hotel and went to bed.   This jetlag is seriously kicking our tails... we normally are night owls but here we have been getting just completely exhausted by around 9 or 10 every night.  I can't imagine how goofed up we're going to be when we get home.   

Okay... more to come!   Thanks for reading.  

Taiwan Video #5 - Sights from around Taipei

Taiwan Video #2 - Happy new Year!

We celebrated the New Year at 11:00 AM Eastern time for all of you back home... we're 13 hours ahead. This video is a basically uncut shot of what we saw. Seriously, it was way cooler than Times Square! Enjoy!

Taiwan Journal #4 - Random Observations about Taiwan

1.  This is not a place that gets a lot of American tourists.   Yesterday we were out in the city for most of the day and saw a total of 5 white people and we're pretty sure most of them were European.   Jessica especially has been getting stared at a LOT!   We found out today that Taiwanese men are very attracted to pretty blonde american women because of the popularity of Hollywood movies here.   So yeah... Jessica's basically a rock star over here.    She's really hates being stared at so it's been tough for her. 

2.  Taiwan is a much more "green" nation than the US.   That's probably not surprising but here, recycling is everywhere.   In fact, if you don't recycle your garbage, you get fined.   When the garbage man comes each week, not only do they expect you to have your trash sorted, they also have 2 buckets they empty... one for compost waste and another for all other food waste.   Leftover noodles... uneaten meat... whatever... throw it in a bucket and the trash truck will take it.   We were told they use it to feed pigs and other animals.   They don't waste anything at all!    I'm pretty sure they do all of this because they have to... Taiwan is a very small island with a LOT of people... I'd hate to think what it would look like if they didn't recycle.  

3.  EVERYONE and I do mean everyone drives a scooter here.   On the road it's pretty much nothing but city buses, taxi cabs, and scooters and the scooters outnumber all of those probably 5 to one.   As you can well imagine, the streets are total chaos... I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to drive here.   We've been sticking to taxis and riding the public transportation trains (MRT) and that's been suiting us just fine.   I'll try to get some video going of the scooter madness.   

4.  We were under the impression before we came that almost everyone here speaks at least a little English.  We were under a wrong impression.   At our hotel, they speak wonderful English.   Everywhere else, none.   I'm starting to get pretty good at pointing to what I want on menus and signs.   We would be completely lost were it not for our wonderful hotel staff here at the Riviera... whenever we are going out, they write down all of the places we want to go on little cards in Chinese... we show those to taxi drivers or anyone else and they help us get where we're going.   Fortunately, all of the street signs, bus signs, and MRT signs are both in Chinese and English.    I'm not sure why though, it doesn't seem like anyone here really speaks it and seriously, we are yet to meet another American 2 days into our trip.   We did meet 2 people this morning from Canada but heck, they probably spoke French.  

5.  The people here are VERY friendly.   Taipei is a lot like many big American cities... parts of it feel very similar to New York with one difference... everyone is very, very nice.  Even with the language barrier and with us pretty much sticking out like sore thumbs, everyone has been incredibly friendly towards us and very, very welcoming.   

Okay... we're headed out for the evening... much more later including hopefully some pictures and video.  Sorry we've been slow getting that together... it takes a long time and we're staying pretty busy!  

Taiwan Journal #3 - A little rain

Our first full day in Taiwan... I wish I could say that today was a great day but that wouldn't be honest... today was very, very hard.   

Our first order of business today was to visit the Cathwel Orphanage.   We were obviously very excited to visit with Sister Rosa and to be able to spend some time with the children.  We were also excited to deliver all of the supplies we collected from Powell Church and also the additional supplies we purchased with donations people gave us.   We got there a little after 10:00 in the morning and gave Sister Rosa all of the clothes, diapers, medicine, and bottles.   She seemed amazed at how much stuff there was... we brought the biggest suitcase we have and it was crammed completely full.   She wanted us to thank everyone at church for being so generous.   She seemed to be deeply appreciative for the gifts.  

After giving her these gifts she asked if we wanted to talk for a little while about our adoption process.   We sat down in her office and began to discuss our adoption process a little bit.   I don't really want to get too deep into the specifics of our conversation here on the blog but I will say that she confirmed that our wait is going to be every bit as long as we thought it might possibly be.   Because we have requested a healthy infant girl, we will probably be facing the longest wait of all... that's nothing different from what we've been hearing it but to hear it straight from the person who would know best, it was hard not to be discouraged a little bit.   There's more too it than that but I'll save it for another time... 

The good news is that after our conversation, Sister Rosa asked us if we wanted to go on a tour and to spend some time with the children.   We started off in the nursery where there were probably 10-15 babies... some as little as a month and some up to almost a year old.   They were all together in one room and seemed to be very well cared for.  All of the sisters we met at the orphanage were very, very nice and seemed to really love the kids.   I'm having a hard time shaking the image of one little girl who waved to me when she saw me... she couldn't have been more than 9 or 10 months old but she held her hand up and waved at me like she knew me.

After the nursery we spent some time with the 1-2 year old children.   This room was somewhat chaotic... there were probably 15-20 children here and many of them had special needs.   Jessica and I were able to go in and sit in the floor and just play with the kids for a good while... I can't really even process or put into words quite yet what it was like to be with these children.   They were all so precious and sweet and fortunately, most of them are waiting to be picked up by their adoptive families.   Sister Rosa would point to the children and say "she's going to America... he's going to the Netherlands... she's going to Germany... he's going to Sweden..."   I wish one of them were going to Tennessee!   

I wish I could show you some pictures or some video from our time at Cathwel but we didn't want to be rude or invasive so we left the cameras in our backpack.  We'll be going back another day though and we may be able to shoot some pictures then.   

After our trip to Cathwel, we both were just feeling kind of spent... the reality of being among the orphans, feeling how wide our hearts opened up being around the kids, and then realizing that it could be another 2 to 3 years before we're able to bring Claire home... it felt a little bit like being punched in the stomach... it took the wind out of us both.  

We did a little bit of sightseeing in the afternoon (including wandering around looking for a restaurant with an English menu and finally settling on... McDonalds which we must say, tastes exactly the same here as it does at home) and we visited the largest Bhuddist temple in Taipei.   The temple was very interesting... you'll see some video of that later.   

We went back to the hotel around 5:00 and laid down to take a short nap... we woke up and it was midnight!   I guess our bodies weren't quite adjusted to Taiwan time.   

So, our first day was a little rough... it was good to get to visit Cathwel, even with the reality of the wait that lies before us sinking in the way it did.   I'm looking forward to visiting again later in the week.   As I'm writing this, it's 7:00 pm on our 2nd day here... I'll post more after we get home from the New Year's Eve festivities we are going to see... today was a much better day!  

Taiwan Journal #1 - This is not going according to plan...

The fact that I have internet access right now when I should be on a plane should let you know that things aren't going exactly according to plan right now.   Here's what's up... 

We drove to Nashville last night so we could catch our early morning flight to Dallas.   We only had a 40 minute layover in Dallas so we knew it would be tight... 40 minutes to catch a flight to Tokyo had us pretty nervous.   Our flight this morning took off from Nashville on time and everything was going just fine until...

"This is your captain speaking... there are some sudden thunderstorms that have come up over Dallas and we're going to have to divert... we'll fly around the storms to Waco and fly in behind the storms... shouldn't be too much of a problem".  

Okay, so maybe a lot of flights are experiencing this and they'll just delay the flight to Tokyo to wait for us.   We might have to run through the airport but hey, that will be exciting.   We'll be fine.  

"This is your captain, guess what everybody?   I'll be darned but we're fresh out of jet fuel if you can believe it.   Tell ya what, we'll just land here on this airstrip 5 minutes from the real airport and refuel and we'll have you there in a jiffy, okay?   Great.   Thanks for your patience."

Awesome... anyway, long story short, we get to Dallas about 45 minutes after our plane to Tokyo took off.   Wanna guess how many flights there are from Dallas to Tokyo each day?    If you guessed one, you win the other half of the room service pizza sitting at the foot of my bed in the Courtyard Mariott right now.   

So we're stuck for 24 hours here in Dallas in an area that could only be described as a barren wasteland of abandoned factories, warehouses, vacant lots, railroad yards, and as luck would have it, a Courtyard Mariott.   We're surrounded by what looks like the set to an episode of "24".   I'm pretty sure I just heard Jack Bauer scream "We're running out of time!" from behind one of the factories that completely surround this hotel.   

The ONLY piece of good news from the day is that American Airlines agreed to let us stay an extra day in Taiwan since we lost a full 24 hours getting there.   So, instead of getting home at around 11:00 pm next Sunday, we'll now be returning home at around 6:00 next Monday.   We'll be flying back through Tokyo and Los Angeles instead of Dallas which is fine with me... I don't care if I ever come to Dallas again.   

T minus 48 hours

Jessica and I are leaving for Taipei, Taiwan Friday evening... we'll drive to Nashville and spend the night, then we fly out at 7:00 am Saturday... sometime around 7:00 am Sunday (which will be 8:00 Sunday night local time) we'll finally arrive in Taipei.   

Please keep us in prayer as we travel.  We intend to update our blogs a few times while we are there so please check back if you would like to keep up with our journey.  

To all of you who have helped us out with donations for the Cathwel Orphanage in Taipei, thank you!   We have been completely overwhelmed with the generosity of our friends, acquaintances, and even strangers.   We have a suitcase STUFFED full of supplies that we will be traveling with and even after that, we had over $500 leftover... we are going to decide what to do with that after we visit the orphanage for the first time... we'll have a better feel for what their needs are then.   That will be Monday morning at 10:00 Taiwan time (9:00 pm Sunday night here in Knoxville...).  

This will be the last post before we leave so next time I talk to you guys and gals, we'll be somewhere on the other side of the world...  or, we'll be in an underground bunker on a mysterious island somewhere in the Pacific where I will have the unfortunate job of pushing a button every 108 minutes... so, one way or the other, we'll talk to you soon!